Conversations with my Boss

My boss: I saw that an email order came in from a new customer that hasn't bought before.
Me: Yes, I saw that.
My boss: Well, you'll need to put them in as a new customer.
Me: ಠ_ಠ

Retail

I work at a retail place that sells ink and toner for printers.

1. When I ask you to spell you last name again because you mumbled it the first time, shoving your ID into my face doesn't help. Thanks.

2. Things I get asked at work:

Do you sell fridge magnets?
Do you sell india ink? Because I'm making a homemade tattoo gun.
Can you refill ink cartridges with black coffee or tea?


3. A woman came into my store and told me her color cartridge only had three colors in it--red, blue and yellow. She asked me if that was right. I told her that those colors will mix to create all the other colors. She looked genuinely surprised and asked if she would get all the different reds, oranges, yellows, etc. I said yes. She seems pleased with this knowledge.

Bipolar Symptoms

In case you don't know, I have bipolar disorder; a.k.a. manic depression. I also have general anxiety, panic attacks and I'm sure there's some OCD and a few other things mixed in there.

This post, along with future posts will be a collective account of both mental and physical symptoms I experience due to my menagerie of brain misfirings. I will publish these posts with a list of certain days and their symptom ratings. It will not be a consistant schedule. I'm rating all symptoms on a scale of 1 to 5.

The Scale:

1 = None: Symptom is absent

2 = Mild: Barely Noticeable

3 = Moderate: Noticeable but able to keep it in check

4 = Severe: Causing distraction but not completely inhibiting

5 = Extreme: Interfering with daily life

The Symptoms I will Track:

Irritability or Anger

Racing Thoughts

Inability to concentrate, indecisiveness

Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells

Worry, agitation, anxiety, stress

Pessimism, indifference

Loss of energy, persistent lethargy

Feelings of guilt, worthlessness

Inability to take pleasure in former interests, social withdrawal

Physical shaking or trembling

Racing Heart

Full Panic Attack

Hot Flashes

Nausea

Fear
Dizziness

Tense Muscles
Pain, tingling or numbness in arms or legs

Fear of Crowds
Fear of Closed Spaces

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oct. 30, 2012

Irritability or Anger:4

Racing Thoughts:4

Inability to concentrate, indecisiveness: 2

Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells: 1

Worry, agitation, anxiety, stress: 4

Pessimism, indifference: 4

Loss of energy, persistent lethargy: 4

Feelings of guilt, worthlessness: 2

Inability to take pleasure in former interests, social withdrawal: 4

Physical shaking or trembling: 1

Racing Heart: 1

Full Panic Attack: 1

Hot Flashes: 1

Nausea: 1

Fear: 4
Dizziness: 1

Tense Muscles: 1
Pain, tingling or numbness in arms or legs  : 1

Fear of Crowds: 1

Fear of Closed Spaces: 1

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nov. 1, 2012

Irritability or Anger: 3

Racing Thoughts: 4

Inability to concentrate, indecisiveness:4

Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells: 2

Worry, agitation, anxiety, stress: 4

Pessimism, indifference: 4

Loss of energy, persistent lethargy: 3

Feelings of guilt, worthlessness: 2

Inability to take pleasure in former interests, social withdrawal: 4

Physical shaking or trembling: 3

Racing Heart: 1

Full Panic Attack: 1

Hot Flashes: 1

Nausea: 1

Fear: 4
Dizziness: 1

Tense Muscles: 3
Pain, tingling or numbness in arms or legs: 1

Fear of Crowds: 1
Fear of Closed Spaces: 1

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nov. 2, 2012

Irritability or Anger:2

Racing Thoughts: 5

Inability to concentrate, indecisiveness: 5

Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells: 2

Worry, agitation, anxiety, stress: 4

Pessimism, indifference: 3

Loss of energy, persistent lethargy: 2

Feelings of guilt, worthlessness: 2

Inability to take pleasure in former interests, social withdrawal: 4

Physical shaking or trembling: 5

Racing Heart:4

Full Panic Attack: 2

Hot Flashes:3

Nausea:3

Fear:4
Dizziness: 4

Tense Muscles: 2
Pain, tingling or numbness in arms or legs: 3

Fear of Crowds: 1
Fear of Closed Spaces: 5

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a month of taking a new anti-anxiety med, I am finding that I am much better than I was.

Dec. 26, 2012

Irritability or Anger: 1

Racing Thoughts: 3

Inability to concentrate, indecisiveness: 2

Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells: 1

Worry, agitation, anxiety, stress:1

Pessimism, indifference:2

Loss of energy, persistent lethargy:2

Feelings of guilt, worthlessness:1

Inability to take pleasure in former interests, social withdrawal:2

Physical shaking or trembling:1

Racing Heart:1

Full Panic Attack:1

Hot Flashes:1

Nausea:1

Fear:1
Dizziness:1

Tense Muscles:1
Pain, tingling or numbness in arms or legs:1

Fear of Crowds: 1
Fear of Closed Spaces:1

Playstation Home

PlayStation Home is a virtual 3D social gaming platform developed by Sony for the PlayStation 3 on the PlayStation Network. Home allows users to create a custom avatar, which can be groomed realistically. Users can decorate their avatar's personal apartment with default, bought, or won items.

You can go into Home from your Playstation 3 using your Playstation profile. It's a 3D virtual environment when you can walk around and interact with other people. A lot of young men use it as a dating service.

If you walk around with a pretty female avatar, you will get young men approaching you asking for your name, age, and location.

Recently, I had a hilarious interaction. I don't normally troll people, but I was in a mood so I kinda did.

Me: *goes to Christmas Home space and walks around.*

User 1: HELLO WHERE ARE YOU FROM

Me: *lying* berlin

User 1: COOL

User 1: HOW OLD ARE YOU?

Me: Why are you yelling at me?

User 1: NO

Me: I'M A 90 YEAR OLD MAN WITH 5 CHILDREN AND A CAT.

By the time I got done typing this, User 1 walked away. User 2 comes into frame.

Me: *saddened by User 1's departure, I turn to User 2, silently asking, "hey did you know this?"*

User 2: cool i ges

Me: *Rolls on the couch laughing and crying for like 5 minutes*

User 2: *leaves*

User 3: *enters* 

User 3: lol

Good Pinterest

Okay, so since I am now addicted to Pinterest, I've determined that we need another site like Pinterest. Only, this new Pinterest will only allow you to pin stuff that's not lame or stupid. It would be called "Good Pinterest." Like when there are two Denny's in the same area and you say, "Let's not go to that Denny's, let's go to the GOOD one." Good Pinterest will not allow you to pin things that suck or make you look like an idiot for pinning it. Like you can't pin things that are more costly and labor intensive while AT THE SAME TIME, being less practical. Good Pinterest will also not allow you to write sentences in the pin descriptions that are not scientifically possible. I feel like the majority of the pinners are 7 year old girls who haven't gone through a middle school science class yet. Vinegar and baking soda make carbon dioxide not helium, fuckface.

My year

Okay, here's a list of what 2012 gave me.

An Uncle Died
We bought a new car = stressfull
My purse was stolen - had to get all new cards and checking account
My car window was smashed during the purse stealing. Had to pay to replace it.
I had a second glass claim on my windshield two weeks later.
Our chicken coop burned down
My subfloor sump pump went out, had to buy new one
My water heater broke, had to fix it
My husband’s grandma died
My husband mother is driving me insane
My sister is getting a divorce.
The AC at work was broken during the hottest part of the summer.
We had severe heat and drought this year, rendering my gardening attempts a complete failure.
My husband was working two jobs and I never got to see him over the summer
I am heavier now than I've ever been.
I hate my job and can’t find a new one
I haven’t had a vacation in 3 years and won’t get one any time soon
My husband changed jobs and is now making less money and working fewer hours.
My job changed locations so that was a mess.
My cousin overdosed and died.
My MIL spent time in the hospital with a UTI.
I got conjunctivits in my eye.
I got viral pharyngitis.
My sister is making me angry with her decisions.
My dad had the worst pneumonia of his life and had to spend a week in the hospital.

The home that I dislike.

My job is generally shitty. I tolerate it because it pays the bills. But my bosses are pretty terrible. One of my coworkers is rude and the customers are endlessly stupid. Ic work retail but I'm the store manager. So I do every thing and dont get paid enough. I work 45-50 hours a week. The job is boring and frustrating at the same time.

However, we just moved our location. In the mess of moving, I felt disoriented. But as soon as it started putting supplies away and seeing the same old items I see every day fill the shelves back up, I felt at home. It's weird how even a frustrating, bored, normalcy can still be comfortable. It's all I know, I guess.